


Overthinking

by aces_low



Series: drabbles and ish [27]
Category: Generation Kill
Genre: M/M, Non-Explicit Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-27
Updated: 2018-01-27
Packaged: 2019-03-10 07:55:40
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,081
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13497834
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aces_low/pseuds/aces_low
Summary: It starts after Afghanistan





	Overthinking

**Author's Note:**

> Prompt: don't make this into a big deal

It starts after Afghanistan.

That’s the first time Brad shoves him up against a wall and kisses him hard.

He says, “don’t overthink this,” as he gets Ray off, and for the time it takes him to come down, Ray doesn’t overthink it.

But then there’s all the time after that moment, and Ray has no idea how to not think about it, no matter how hard he tries.

 

The night before they go to Kuwait, Brad kneels down in front of where Ray is perched on Brad’s couch and blows him, proving Ray’s theory that he is not the first guy Brad has ever been with.

When he’s done, Ray struggles to find words, a rare happenstance, but one apparently brought on by an exceptional blowjob. Brad stands, taps Ray’s forehead and says, “don’t make this into a big deal.”

Ray looks up at him and smirks. “No overthinking, right?”

“Right.”

 

They’re barely through the front door, when Brad drops his bag, pulls Ray’s off his shoulder, and nearly lifts Ray right off the ground with the force of his kiss and how tight he’s holding onto him. 

Ray doesn’t have a problem with overthinking this time. He’s too tired to think about anything and the frantic pace at which they’re touching just feels like animal instinct at this point.

When they’re done, he sleeps for over twelve hours, and the only overthinking he does then is the small dream he has where Brad is running around, the way he had in that field - arms outstretched - when he suddenly sprouts wings and takes off into the sky. Ray runs after him on the ground, trying to jump up and reach him. Brad occasionally swoops back down, making Ray think that he can grab on, only to lift himself back into the sky, leaving Ray behind.

 

They’ve been home from Iraq for a week, and Ray still hasn’t decided when he’s going to leave, hasn’t gotten any indication from Brad that he’s not welcome to stay indefinitely. It’s been surprisingly easy not to think too hard about what they’ve been doing this past week when all they do is sleep, fuck, and eat.

But now, it’s 3 am and Ray is awake, being squeezed in Brad’s arms like Ray is his favorite teddy bear, and he’s thinking again.

It’s crazy, what they’re doing, he’s not entirely sure what it is that they’re doing, but he knows it’s crazy. And it’s even crazier that Brad has told him not to overthink it, as though he can just order Ray’s brain around. And Ray knows for a fact that’s not how Brad’s brain works either. Overthinking is what Brad does best, there’s no possible way he hasn’t thought about every little detail of what they’ve done together. The way that Ray has. The way that anyone with a half a brain cell who is fucking their best friend would. The way anyone who was fucking their _Sergeant_ would.

So, instead of laying awake, overthinking for the rest of the night, Ray extracts one of his arms from Brad’s hold and smacks him in the face.

He probably should have known better than to wake a sleeping Marine violently, because Brad’s eyes snap open and he quickly rolls on top of Ray, his legs bracketing Ray’s sides, his arms wrapping around Ray protectively, as he surveys the room for a threat.

“Get the fuck off me you god damn giant,” Ray says, shoving at Brad’s chest until he releases him.

Brad blinks, seems to realize where he is, and rolls back to Ray’s side. “What’s goin’ on?” he asks, voice gravelly with sleep.

“We gotta talk,” Ray says, sitting up.

Brad frowns and looks over at the clock. “We have to talk at 3:24 in the morning?”

“Yeah, cause if I’m gonna be overthinking at 3 in the morning, you’re gonna have to be awake too.”

That prompts Brad to sit up himself, moving backward to rest against his headboard. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing’s wrong, I just…you told me a few months ago not to make this into a big deal. But I don’t know how to do that, or at least, I don’t know how to not think about it. If you somehow found a way to shut off your brain when it comes to this, please share it with me, cause it’s kind of all I can do.”

Brad looks down at his knees and his shoulders go stiff and Ray can’t control his eyes from rolling at how easy it is to make Brad want to run and hide inside his shell.

Instead of letting him do any of that, Ray crawls his way onto Brad’s lap, pushing his shoulders back to stop him from curling in on himself and force Brad to look at him.

As Ray gets himself settled, Brad takes one of Ray’s wrists in his hands, his fingers easily making a circle around it and squeezing twice before grabbing Ray’s hips to keep him steady.

“Look, I don’t need you to confess your undying love to me, or anything gay like that. I just need to know that you’re not gonna get all weird in a week and kick me out of your house or sometime later decide we can’t be friends anymore because things didn’t work out.”

“I’m not gonna do any of that,” Brad says, resting his hand against Ray’s ribs like he’s trying to see if his hand can cover those too.

“And what are you wanting out of this?” he asks, because he’s trying to be fair here.

Brad brings his other hand around to rest on Ray’s back while the other continues to press against his ribs. “Nothing,” he says, eyes laser-focused on the skin beneath his hand.

Ray rest’s a hand on Brad’s, drawing his eyes up. “How about what you _don’t_ want?”

The hand that is against his back moves up to hold the back of Ray’s neck and Ray can feel a warm shiver run up his spine.

“I’m not gonna kick you out,” Brad says, again.

Ray nods, understanding that’s the best way Brad knows how to explain himself. Because of course, Brad has been thinking about this, that’s what he does. Brad knows what he wants, regardless of his inability to express that verbally.

So, Ray leans in, kissing him soundly.

Because now that Ray has really thought about it, he knows what he wants too.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading!


End file.
